Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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