Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just want nice things and good sex
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
