We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
