just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
