He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize