The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
