well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
