They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
