i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
