Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize