The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
