I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I need a beard to bite.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
