Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
