Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
