the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
