"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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