the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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