rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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