Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize