normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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