It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
