hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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