No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
