Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Pooping to opera.
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