puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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