You can't motorboat a personality
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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