Fine. I'll sleep in my office
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
