my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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