Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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