This gyro tastes like lonliness
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
