I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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