try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
