Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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