so let's talk penis.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
