that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
