OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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