have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You are a genius and a whore.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
