Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
