She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Is it because I queefed?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
