He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
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