I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
