I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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