So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize