I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
