I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
