k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
