he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
