You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I forgot wine drunk hurts
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
