If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
