have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
