i'm lost and i look like a hooker
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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