and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
