They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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