i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
