ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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