she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
