My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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