i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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