My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
