I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
