if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
