I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
