@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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