you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
