he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
