i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
