he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
