I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
