Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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