How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
