On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize