someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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