Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
