are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
