the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think people are normalizing furries
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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